Chinese New Year.

It's just not the same without family.

Happy Chinese New Year to you all. Have a fun time celebrating with those you love and cherish.

2012-The year that I'm supposed to grow up.

You know how a new year's resolution is supposed to be written after utmost consideration, well I have a confession to make. I wrote mine within 5 minutes sitting in the subway. I think it covers the basics. I think.

1. Remember all my family members birthdays

I know I know, you must be thinking what?? It's like mission impossible for me though. I have a tendency to forget unless I refer to Facebook. So I'm gonna try to remember it without writing it down somewhere or referring to Facebook for help. Dad, mum, mich, angie and shaun, I will remember your birthdays properly.

2. Not be afraid of life

I know it's vague. But I think that it's a fitting new years resolution because I believe it is essential in truly living. The greatest obstacle holding us back from achieving our dreams is ourselves. So when you're not afraid anymore, nothing can stand in your way.

3. Read the Bible finish

It's quite self-explanatory. I haven't read the Bible cover to cover before, so why not try it this year.

4. Qualify for dean's list

I have to do exceptionally well for all my subjects in my engineering course to get into this prestigious list. But this is one attractive goal worth working towards because qualifying for it automatically means qualifying for my faculty's annual scholarship award. Double kill.

5. Get six pack fit.

If I eat right and go to the gym regularly, this should be a piece of cake. But it's only if I'm disciplined enough to do so. I'm like those people who are really pumped up the first few weeks, but gets demotivated as the days go on. Challenge accepted.

6. Visit a foreign place/country with friends

I really do miss my friends. The uras gang. The ss15 gang. The church gang. A road trip or a holiday trip with them would be nice. It'd be like old times again while creating new memories together. We'd laugh all day, sing together and take lots of pictures, to laugh at later on. Might be hard accomplishing this, as everyone is everywhere now.

7. Appreciate the women in my life

Don't get me wrong, the guys are important too. I think it's the male ego, guys don't like showing their weak side to girls, and it ends up giving the wrong impression to girls like guys aren't sensitive enough or aren't caring enough. So somehow, I want to really appreciate the women in my life, I just haven't figured out how.

So that's it. Hopefully all's well this year. And if it's not, well, God has better plans installed.

Us against the world

Watching the movie Warrior, released in 2011 brought back memories of me and my brother. 

The movie tells the tale of two brothers who fight against each other in a tournament. Though brothers, they lived as strangers as they had been separated from young when their parents divorced.

My younger brother is 7 years my junior. Though he is young he is mature beyond his years or I am immature for my age. Perhaps that's why we click?:)

I remember when we used to shower together *a long time ago* because you were afraid to shower alone.

I remember when Mum scolded us when we threw clothes from the floor at each other because it had landed on her.

I remember you standing around me sheepishly as I lay on the sofa watching tv, and out of nowhere you'd turn and jump on me and lie down.

I remember when we played team games, it'd always be me and you against Mich and Angie and your reasoning was that "brothers must always stick together".

I remember racing against you in the park, despite having a head start, you would pull my shirt to slow me down whenever I overtook you.

I remember stuffing our shirts with pillows and pretending we were sumo wrestlers.

I remember when Mum asked you who you wanted to pick you up from tuition, you'd say Ko all the time.

I still wonder why is that you call me Ko ko yet you don't call Michelle or Angela Jie jie. There was this time when I was back in Kuching and I was on the phone talking to Mich. She asked me to spend time with you while I could. She said that you looked up to me and blind as I was to see it, everybody else saw it. 

Shaun, I'm sorry for neglecting you when I was back home. I'm sorry for being so lazy in getting up from my occasional naps to accompany you to go the park. I'm sorry for getting angry at you in McD when you refused to help. I'm sorry for leaving a shadow for you to fill as a younger brother. 

My biggest fear now is that we'd end up as strangers instead of brothers being so far apart now. Perhaps that was why I was really touched by Brendan and Tommy Conlon's strained relationship in Warriors. I hope and pray that you'll grow up to be fine man Shaun. I'm proud of who you are and is to be.

I dedicate this post to you Shaun, my younger brother.

Perhaps you'll stumble on this post one day. Hopefully :)

You are worth it.

Mikes Chair- Someone worth dying for.

A beautiful song about God's love and acceptance. It don't matter who you are, where you come from, or what was your past.

*You are more than flesh and bone

Can't you see you're something beautiful*

"Christ died for men precisely because men are not worth dying for; to make them worth it." -C.S. Lewis

No matter what the world thinks, no matter what the world says. Girls, you are beautiful. Guys, you the man.

Details in the fabric.

Honestly, how can you not smile when you're blessed with such a sight. This is Ashwen, Dr Siew's dog. (I think that's how she's spelt).

Visited my dad's friend Dr Siew at York Mills today. It was nice, taking a break from the hectic week, of constantly checking for assignment deadlines, studying, prepping for tests. To be able to enjoy a home cooked lunch, and be treated with superb hospitality, life is indeed awesome.

While on the subway, I noticed a few things. The surprised look of friends meeting each other, hugging and asking about each other. Couples entering and staring at each other, oblivious to the world around them. Their world was each other. A tired looking man, by the side of the subway train door, constantly checking his watch. Probably anxious to get home to his family.

An elderly lady walks in, and she has nowhere to sit as every seat is occupied. I glanced around and saw that no one was giving up their seats. I'm not trying to say I'm being noble here, I'm just trying to say that she smiled when I got up and asked her whether she'd like to seat down. I left the train a few stops later, wishing her to have a good day. She looked back, a bit shocked I suppose, and she smiled and said thank you.

Do you know how good it feels to do something worthwhile? To see someone smile. And know that if not forever, at least, for that very moment, they were genuinely happy. Isn't that what living is all about?

I went back smiling.

Hellohellohello

Hello hello hello.

Oddly enough, that's how I greet most people on the phone. The usual hello, sounds too common, too mechanical as though it was an automated response generated after generations of observing people. 

Wouldn't it be pretty nice if someone greeted you differently on the phone, with a waddup, or a hiiiiiiiiii sexy *mischievous tone*.

They'd be scratching their heads for sure :)

There is no ordinary moment.

Thank you God.

I am me. That is all there is to describe me. Truthfully, I have always wanted to blog, but never felt that I had anything significant to contribute to the world that has already been there. That my opinion, my thoughts probably wouldn't have mattered to anyone. That was why I had delayed so long in blogging.

I have just watched this movie, "Peaceful warrior"

I originally thought that it was just some random motivational movie. I was wrong. In it, a few fundamentals of life are repeated over and over again throughout the movie; there are no ordinary moments, those who are the hardest to love are usually the ones who need it the most, you will never be better, neither will you be less, you will be you.

Being in university now, I thought I had it all figured out. My dream job, my goal, my destination. But I can tell you honestly, the closer I seem to be getting to those achievements, the less satisfied I get. Watching this movie made me realise a few things I've forgotten and neglected over my years growing up. Thanking God, appreciating my family, and living in the moment.

It's time to change. Change is inevitable.